Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s (Psalm 103:2-5 ESV).
I figure I’m not the only divorced woman who sometimes experiences unsettling feelings of abandonment. Security is one of our most pressing needs. Being alone—especially in a crowd—can trigger a sinking, debilitating neediness that compels us to grab for the shadiest promise that we are not abandoned. Sometimes even a lie will suffice.
The dilemma is rooted in idolatry. Idolatry boils down to our lack of trust in God to meet our needs. Instead, we worship whatever we believe will save us. When the Israelites wandered in the desert, they turned to a golden calf (see Exodus 32). Today, we look to money, relationships, and so on. Anything we hope in apart from God will eventually disappoint.
It’s tricky, because God has designed us with needs that can be met only by other people. Marriage is designed, in part, to provide security and love. Psychologists tell us that healing comes from experiencing healthy versions of the same relationships and situations that hurt us. For example, an older woman can help a younger woman heal from the abuse her broken mother inflicted. Accepting friends can help heal the wounds of bullying and cliques. To be treated with respect in dating relationships heals the wounds that unhealthy men have left.
So the problem is not that we look to people or relationships to meet our need for security. It’s that we don’t trust and obey God when we do so. We take control. We think he’s late, or incompetent, or busy.
Or maybe he just doesn’t care.
The danger is that we lose touch with God. We ignore his red flags and alarms in our desperate quest to meet our pressing need. Yet God created us. He knows every hair on our head, every day of our life. He loves us, and his resources are infinite.
Our best recourse is the decision to trust God, no matter what, and to obey his Word. Believing that even our dark seasons are in God’s loving hands, not hidden from him, we find a security that outlasts our storms.
What will you trust God for today?
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