Living Hope

My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. - Psalm 119:50

Life can throw some overwhelming problems at a parent. Lately, I’ve learned a couple of truths that bring strong confidence.

Our church’s recent Living Hope sermon series focused on 1 Peter. The pastors pointed us to the living hope we have in Jesus. 1 Peter 1:13 instructs, “Therefore, preparing your minds for action… set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” Rather than shrinking fearfully into our corner, we can believe that Jesus’ resurrection power will help us overcome, giving wisdom and direction. And in the end, we will receive grace.

Raising children today is fraught with opposition. We hope for something that will bring a sigh of relief, an opportunity to lay down our fears and rest, at peace. Yet hope in things we can’t fully control is vain. I’ve set my hope on all kinds of uncertainties: a happy remarriage; a flourishing career; a comprehensive home school curriculum; and of course the all-important success and well-being of my children. Then, I’ve wondered why I ride an emotional roller-coaster.

The more I ponder the thought of Jesus bringing us grace, the more relieved I feel. God will bring my children through. In the end, there is lasting peace and relief. The biggest fear has been conquered: What could bring more relief than knowing that our sins are forgiven and Heaven is open? Life has its struggles, but someday they will all be forgotten. We will know eternal peace and joy.

Meanwhile here we are, dealing with life’s problems. For many years, when my stresses reached a certain level I lost my joy and peace. As God has proved his faithfulness to me, that’s been changing. Having experienced his power and deliverance, I’m learning to face new worries with confidence. When God doesn’t move a mountain, he uses it to take us to new heights; and sometimes to circumvent other, more difficult mountains.

Faced alone, our troubles look intimidating. But as we cling tightly to eternal hope, we gain a brighter, positive perspective. The present looks more manageable. We comprehend God’s presence and guidance with us, and our work looks possible. It might even look challenging in a fun way. The secret is Jesus with us.

Holiness and Efficiency

As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do. – 1 Peter 1:14-15

We can’t pursue two goals, spiritually. We can’t aim for holiness and efficiency. If we aim for holiness we reap, as a side effect, eternal efficiency – the kind that really packs a punch. If we aim for efficiency, we reap neither lasting efficiency nor holiness.

When we make holiness our goal – obedience to Christ in each decision, love over selfishness, humility over pride – we accomplish what God has planned for us today. That’s efficient.

It sounds simple, so why do we find ourselves anxious and unloving as some days end? We harden when we charge ahead, ignoring God at those unnoticed forks in the road.

We ignore him because sometimes love means abandoning our plans and doing something we don’t want to do. We don’t want to stop writing and make dinner; or turn off the movie and answer the teen’s unsettling questions; or delay shopping to follow through on a discipline consequence. We have our schedule; it’s more about the timing than the activity. But when we surrender, we reap a peaceful, loving home. What could be a greater gift?

If we make efficiency our goal, we will base our decisions on hard, cold self-will, striving to accomplish those things we, in our limited understanding, deem important. Efficient decisions place us on the throne, they sacrifice love on the control altar, they go with panic rather than peace. We may try to incorporate holiness into our efficient day, but it will be legalism, devoid of love. In the end, we are neither efficient nor righteous.

Let’s affirm our choice:

Today I choose relationship with God and others. I choose to follow God’s leading. He is merciful, compassionate – not hard and exasperating. He is a much more gentle and reasonable leader than my anxious, demanding self.

Choosing holiness instead of efficiency is simply returning to our God-crafted identity. It’s  handling everything from the calm, confident place of being, rather than doing, who we are. It’s trusting God enough to focus on what’s in front of us, not slapping it together so we can anxiously get on the with next thing.

All this is a gift. It’s nothing I can generate myself. Even the willingness to walk with God is his gift to me.

The Message of the Whale

They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; these see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep. Psalm 107:22-24

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. Isaiah 43:2

Sometimes you need a break, and a break appears. My kids and I are still wrestling down a difficult school year, long past burnout. Yesterday, Captain Mike Sack and marine biologist Dorris Welch invited the Santa Cruz Sentinel’s Media Lab bloggers on a whale watching excursion with Sanctuary Cruises. Woohoo! When you get a break like this, you take it; so today found us on the Bay, school work neglected.

My children were increasingly captivated, as I became increasingly interested in keeping my breakfast where I’d put it earlier. Trust me – you want to take the medicine they recommend!

We encountered several blue whales – the largest animals ever to roam the earth – and many humpbacks. They didn’t just graze the surface. They raised their heads skyward, right in front of us. They rolled, fins waving, like crusty, barnacled giants in a scifi movie. They even “breached,” leaping clear of the water! The blue whales undulated smoothly through the dark water, then headed straight down to feed, their gleaming flukes sweeping up a dripping curtain behind them.

Dorris gave a fascinating commentary, explaining the whales’ feeding habits, how the krill they eat arrives in the Bay, how much water they filter with each mouthful, and more. It was the perfect home school field trip. Mike obviously knew how to find the whales, as we arrived exactly in the middle of a great deal of activity.

My son is a proficient photographer, if I do say so. Look what we saw!

Captain Mike and Marine Biologist Dorris

Humpback whale surfacing

Comerant

Humpback spout

Humpback breaching

and again...

Mother with calf

Humpback fluke

Sadly, my intense seasickness distracted me. It wasn’t until Mike turned the boat towards shore, and I began to recover, that I realized we were saying goodbye to something profoundly special. Ever notice that God’s creation reveals different aspects of who God is? Watching the massive whales playing like children, I glimpsed God’s power and love. His “tender mercies are over all his works” (Psalm 145:9).

We had encountered “his wonders in the deep,” and I had almost missed them. When we’re in deep waters, we can be sure a wonder is at hand. Those who face the deep waters of divorce are offered God’s work of overcoming faith. On the deep waters of fearful circumstances, we can receive the work of deliverance. The deep waters of rejection accentuate the work of eternal security. In every deep water, an overcoming work of God will surface.

Let’s not turn away before we see it.

Scared Much?

Who is among you that fears the Lord, that obeys the voice of His servant, that walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. – Isaiah 50:10

For a long time after becoming a single mom, I lived in fear. I never knew what would hit us next, and I worried for my children. I read scary statistics about children of divorce, and I could not discern a clear path to safety.

If the light is out in your life, please don’t panic. Maybe you have been asking God what to do for months on end, and the answer is still unclear. Everywhere you turn, problems and obstacles confront you with a relentlessness that almost seems planned.

Take one day at a time. Make sure you are living according to Biblical standards, and turn to God often. When you stumble, don’t buy the accusations that come from the enemy of your soul. Cling to grace. Allow this storm to drive you deeper into Christ. The rest is up to God, and God is up your growth, healing, and blessing. Someday, He’ll turn the light back on!

Within Range

Your adversary… prowls around… seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. – 1 Peter 5:8-9

When we experience trials that differentiate us from people in more peaceful life seasons, we’re susceptible to a lie. We begin to see ourselves as anomalies, as though something about us is weird and wrong and different. We might even fear that we are not within the normal range of being human. These thoughts tempt us to isolate, which is precisely the least helpful choice.

I remember a counselor telling me, during the fallout from my cult excommunication and divorce, “Let me assure you, your feelings are very common. This is normal.” Her words relieved me. I felt that the problem was manageable and I was not alone.

I believe the same holds true no matter what you’re going through. Troubles come to every life. That’s normal. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. No matter how surprising or new your reaction seems to you, it's normal and human, because you are a normal human being.

The last message you want to give a friend in crisis is one of shock and suspicion. This will only feed her fear. She needs reassurance, even if you can’t relate to what she’s experiencing. Simply being an accepting friend is the most powerful way to help someone who’s struggling.

Committing the Future to God

For by grace you have been saved through faith…. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:8, 10

I should figure out a working school schedule.

I must find time to listen to my son!

I have to position my kids for college.

These statements a commitment make, but they do not a commitment keep. They spring from a mind burdened with anxiety about the results, which are out of our control. If we’re honest, they often set us up to fail. It seems the more we try, the harder we fall.

Recently, I was heading down this road again. I thought in order to secure my children’s future well-being, I needed to commit to a strict plan – no excuses, no breaks. I needed a schedule, a written contract, a formula to stick to resolutely.

Contracts and schedules have their place. They’re valuable tools; I do need them! But when my motive to make and keep them is to control the future, they become a very harsh boss – one that has intimidated me too often.

So when our pastor deftly tossed us the other meaning of “commit,” I grabbed it like a drowning mother. Mark this: To commit also means to entrust something to someone’s care. As in, “I can’t control the future; I’ll commit it to God. I can trust him with it.”

My children’s future is in God’s hands. He knows the present and sees the big picture. If I’m distracted trying to handle his part, I can’t function effectively in their lives today. The attendant stress paralyzes me, leaving me mechanical and even downright irritating.

The pressure’s off. Today, we can walk through the doors God has opened. We can grade the schoolwork, fix the lunch, direct the chores, call the friends, advise the high schooler. We can even figure out a working school schedule, listen to our kids, and position them for college, all without carrying the weight of tomorrow’s cares. Peacefully doing our part today, we can leave tomorrow with the God who loves our children perfectly.